The Importance of Being

When I went into quarantine last Thursday I fully intended to write a blog post every day. Life, as usual, has a way of getting between me and my best ideas. In the last week I’ve experienced not only the usual (whatever that means any more) ups and downs, but also a major health scare brought on largely by stress. But I’m good now. This is Day 8!

I use the word “quarantine” intentionally. Quarantine is what you do to people/animals/plants when there is a possibility they may be infected. Isolation is what you do to people/animals/plants when they are infected. I am showing no symptoms. I’m quarantined. I was tested earlier in the week, and I do not have the virus at the time of writing.

I want to use this opportunity to thank the many delightful people who have phoned/emailed/texted with concerns for my safety and/or well-being. I’m good, just going a little crazy from being cooped up, plus a severe lack of sex. My body is used to regular sex, and it doesn’t take kindly to being deprived of it for an extended period.

But what I really want to write about today is size. I’m guessing that my audience for this blog is largely (no pun intended – yet) male. 90% or more of the men who come to see me ask me about the size of their penises in relation to the other men.

If you’re aware of the standard distribution bell curve (if not, Google it) then you’ll understand that 80% of you are, by definition, average. Some are on the smaller end of average, some are on the larger end. But the vast majority of men have average sized erections.

You’ll note that so far I’ve used penis size and erection size interchangeably. This isn’t strictly accurate. Some men, when unerect, have quite insignificant penises, the ones you might quietly snigger about at the urinal. What other guys don’t realise is that they vary enormously (pun again!) in terms of the effect of blood flow. I’ve met guys who start out looking huge, but arousal and blood flow merely makes them a little harder. I’ve met men who look as thought they’re going to be tiny, but once they get turned on…

As most men would see other men in an unaroused state, then you really have very little to go on.

Size is largely irrelevant. I know your penis important to you. You see it several times a day. You handle it every time you pee. It brings you a lot of pleasure in various ways. But how big it is in relation to other men really doesn’t matter at all. What you do with it does.

I’ve known men who were at the small end of the scale who were marvelous lovers. I’ve known who men whose penis size was off the top end who were hopeless in bed. Thanks to the effects of predominantly American porn, the idea prevails that if you’ve got a big dick all you need to do is slip it in for instant orgasmic effect for your partner. This, quite simply, is not true! In fact the opposite is more likely to be the case. I’ve talked to other women about this, and it’s an amazingly common myth. If you’re excessively well hung you can do major damage to the internal organs of a woman without even trying.

I recently had a delightful young man come to see me. He not only had a huge erection, but it also had a significant bend in it. (I’m not a doctor, I have no idea whether this can be corrected or not.) He visited me because every woman he’d had sex with had complained he’d hurt them, and, quite frankly, I’m not surprised. I was able to show him some positions that would not be painful for his partner and would still bring him satisfaction.

A vagina is not a tunnel, it doesn’t go in only one direction. Think of a flower. The entrance to the vagina is the stem. The flower is internal and unseen. The more a woman is aroused, the more the flower opens up. At the same time, the stem is becoming more lubricated. Most of you will know enough about mechanics to understand that if a piston entering a chamber is lubricated then as the piston withdraws it will create a (near) vacuum in the chamber. This is what happens when your woman is intensely aroused. The head the vagina opening up, combined with the lubrication around your cock, holds you in her, increasing the feelings of pleasure for both of you.

It also results in fanny farts when you withdraw, which is why they’re such a compliment to you.

Size is irrelevant to this process. The bulk of sensation to you comes from your shaft. To her, the bulk of the sensation comes from the labia, which is one reason labioplasty is such an incredibly bad idea. (I’ll save that rant for later.) It also explains why many women rarely orgasm just from vaginal stimulation, as there are no nerve endings inside the vagina. The only internal sensation likely is when the head of a penis hits her cervix, which is agonising – the female equivalent of being kicked in the balls. And it’s only large dicks that can do that.

(What about the G spot? I’ll save that for another post.)

If you want to give (most) women an orgasm from vaginal sex, make sure her clit is involved in the process, either through manual stimulation or by changing the angle so that her clit is rubbing the base of your shaft. My favorite position is on top and leaning forward for this very reason.

Back to size. Large cocks can create a truly wonderful feeling of fullness, but there is far more to sex than that. If you’re well endowed please take the time to learn some appropriate positions that won’t make your partner feel as though she’s being impaled. And if you feel you’re on the small size, there are many other ways of ensuring your partner feels loved and appreciated which, believe me, go a long way towards satisfying her sexually.

Sex is about far more than size, after all.


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